11 December 2012

I don't know what to title this post

Today I was with my Dad.  Listening to him talk, my heart sank.  Whenever that happens, I have the same thought go through my mind: "I didn't think there was anything left for him to say to make my heart sink!"

I was going to ask my Mom, but didn't, what spurred this on.  I am assuming it had to do with his visit to the doctor today.

We went out to pick up lunch . . . and donuts . . . and ice cream . . . and in between thinking of stopping for a chocolate peppermint milkshake and not doing it, my Dad was talking to me about how awful my Mother's life is because of him.  That is not unusual.  But today he said "I have to figure out somewhere else to go so she doesn't totally go crazy taking care of me."

If there was a little teary eyed emoticon I could put here then I would.

I said "where are you thinking of going, Dad?"

He replied "Maybe I just need to put a TV in my room with 'Monk' on it and just stay in there all day and never leave.  Then I won't be maxing her out all day."

I have to assume what it's like taking care of him day in and day out, but some days I know I would jokingly suggest locking him up and sliding food under the door.  He is definitely a handful for an octopus.

I just had to think of Joseph Smith, and how he emotionally stated "The worth of every soul is great in the eyes of God." (I know that is from LDS scripture, but I like to picture the way he says it on the movie.)

So that is what I told my Dad.

No one wants you to live in a hole and die.  No one wants you to go away.  We love you.  WE LOVE YOU!

I told my Dad today that I thought he could honor all her hard work and sacrifice and daily aggravation by doing all she asked him to do and staying cheerful.


It's hard.

23 September 2012

John 15:13

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

How grateful that our Savior had that love that is second to none.  I love the hymn "I Stand All Amazed."

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me.
Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me!
I tremble to know that for me He was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled and died!

I was listening to this with my children not long ago, and explaining what the words mean.  I got so teary eyed as I shared my testimony with my children that the worth of souls is great in the eyes of God!  I am so thankful that we are of such worth that He sent his ONLY Begotten Son to die for us!  To suffer.

I love Jesus Christ. I love being religious.  I love the happiness and joy and fullness of life and moral compass that worshiping God and Jesus Christ gives to me.

Thanks be to God, for His eternal blessings!

True religion is wonderful. I am so thankful for it in my life!

30 August 2012

Thankful for Life's Daily Miracles!

"There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as thought nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle."
     ---Albert Einstein


My family is alive, well, healthy, and other than worn out, HAPPY!

We were given our daily bread, and then some!

We have enough money at the end of the month to cover bills.

The sun came up in the morning!

The Utes are up 7!!!  (No surprise, really! GO UTES!)

We all had clean underwear to put on this morning. (YAY!)

If my daughter did swallow a penny, it doesn't seem to be bothering her.

My son didn't fall out of the shopping cart and break his head! (And it really did look like he was going to!)

I survived a really trying situation this morning.

I think I'll get all the fruit sitting in the kitchen canned.

I have time and opportunity to sit and write this!

We got our daily scripture study done---my favorite part of the day!

My son went to bed early! Bless his heart.

We all had baths today.

Can a little child like me
Thank the Father fittingly?
Yes! Oh Yes! Be good and true!

Patient, Kind in all you do.
Love the Lord and do your part,
Learn to say with all your heart:
Father, we thank Thee!
Father, we thank Thee!
Father in Heaven, we thank Thee!

For the fruit upon the trees,
For the birds that sing of Thee!
For the sunshine warm and bright,
For the day and for the night!
For the joyful work and true
That a little child may do,

14 August 2012

Stay cheerful!

Well, all I can find for the source of this quote is some blog and a BYU-I devotional talk where the woman says that "this quote was given at church last Sunday and attributed to Hyrum Smith." So---however likely/unlikely it is that he actually is the one who said it, I don't know.  But I came across this quote today, and I really like it!  No matter who said it, it is truth!

Be not discouraged, neither allow the spirit of doubt or gloom or despondency to come into thy life, for these are tricks of the evil one to destroy thy faith and thy usefulness. But look upon the bright side of life, be cheerful, humble, prayerful, and in pure devotion, and in thy habits, and the Lord will remember thee in mercy. His power and blessings will be upon thee. therefore, look unto the Lord in humility, and thou shalt be comforted in the answers to thy prayers and be guided in the path of thy duty, day and night.

12 August 2012

Sound effects

One day I pulled up to my parent's house to a laughing mom.  She told me to go listen at the bathroom door.  Well, you only had to be in the same house to hear what was happening in the bathroom.  My Dad was making this sound like he was having some major emergency health problem or something. When my Mom heard this noise coming from the bathroom she ran up to see if he was having a heart attack.

He was just hanging out having a good old time in the shower, making his own sound effects!  Luckily he was a good sport and let me snag a little footage of it later on. :-)


Tonight I called my husband's aunt and the tone of her voice reminded me of what I was feeling when I couldn't stop crying while my Dad was in a coma.

I remember standing over his bed and looking down at him.  "Dad, are you in there?" I asked.  Feeling helpless.  Feeling sad.  Feeling like "I know this will be alright, but when will I look back at this and say  'yeah, it did end up alright.'"


My husband Matt has a cousin.  His cousin is Chris.  Chris in on an LDS mission right now and has been gone two out of 24 months so far.  Tonight we heard that his mother got a phone call from the president of the mission's wife.  The mission president's wife told Chris's mother (you with me?) that Chris can't read.  He began having trouble focusing his eyes, then he completely lost the ability.  He went to two eye doctors and the general consensus is that Chris has damaged his eyes beyond repair, and they will never be able to focus.

Chris is 19.  NINETEEN!  That's it!

The next step for him is to see a really REALLY special specialist doctor to find out if there is something to be done for him. The doctor told him whatever happened to his eyes was seriously traumatic, that you don't get that kind of scars and damage without major trauma. They are wondering if the irresistibly of looking at the solar eclipse is the culprit. He may be the reason everyone on TV was warning everyone else: DO NOT LOOK AT THE SUN WITHOUT MADE-FOR-ECLIPSE-GLASSES!

When everything was so uncertain with my Dad I used to pray "If there is a miracle in this day, please let it be for my Dad!"  The Lord surely did bless our family with many many many miracles!!! I know that the Lord has a plan, just for each one of us.  I pray Chris and all of us will learn what we are supposed to from this experience, and that his life and eyesight will be blessed with many miracles!!!

I just can't help but think what a different life it will be for him if he can't read.  What will he do for work?  Will he ever get married or have a family?  Now that everything for Chris is so uncertain, I am praying as often as I think of it (which so far is about three times per minute) that his eye sight will all be restored and that Chris will be very blessed for all his efforts to serve the Lord in whatever way he is asked to.

I know Heavenly Father is in total control of this and every situation and I pray that the reassurance of His love and his involvement in our lives will cover and comfort us all, no matter what our sorrows and cares may be!

02 August 2012

God will see us through!

Tonight, driving home from my cousin's daughter's first birthday party, I plugged in the headphones on my iPod while my children listened to books on tape in the back.  I listened to this local show run by (hilarious and sarcastic) men who asked everyone to text their worst "first world problems" to be read on air.  Minutes later, to the tune of Kenny G, they started reading the texts.

I'm going to Hawaii and I don't know which clothes I should pack.

My wife was with a church group tonight and I have to eat left-overs.

The lowest setting on my car's air conditioner doesn't work.

My AC is drying my eyes out.

The entrance to the Olive Garden is on the other side of the building.

Oh golly!!!  I thought of my Mom, and many others, who I think would love to have their worst problem be a broken AC!

Feeding ducks
I remember sitting with my dad in the NICU and looking out over the sunset valley of Salt Lake City, and thinking how strange it was that people were living normal lives, and everything was going on around us.  For us, life was about one thing for a while.  It was about waiting to see what in the world was going to happen with my dad.

I can't describe the emotional burden I felt.  While I was feeling it, I knew that it was not something unique to me.  I was not the only one in this world who had or would know what it was like.  It amazed me that after a good night's rest, I would wake feeling tired.

I say all this, keeping in mind the fact that I am not the one closest to the suffering.  Still as close as I am, it hurts to think of it all!
A great animal lover!
Teaching his grand's to feed ducks from their hands!
I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who sent His Son to die for us, to Atone for us. The miraculous and infinite Atonement is real.  It is wonderful to know that He would endure all that He did, in part to know how to "succor His people".  It is a wonderful life, when you know that Jesus Christ can relate to how you feel, and your pains and emotions and thoughts.

Some of the hardest experiences give the greatest opportunity to bring us closer to God.  I have loved the birthing experiences that I have had.  I chose to give birth, medication-free.  People think I am crazy, in fact I THINK I AM TOO!  But going through those difficult experiences truly made me cry out to God, and beg Him for immediate help and mercy, which was undoubtedly sent, and it really helped me to realize how much I need Him!  It helped me realize how I am nothing without Him, and everything with Him!  I felt so close to my Savior and so thankful that He would see me through that experience.  When it was all said and done, I felt like my life had been changed forever through the mercies of Jesus Christ, and it has!

So whether its the uncertainty of life, or life with a loved one who's brain no longer functions as it used to, or even childbirth! Trust yourself to God.  Give your life to Him!  Trust Him with your heart and your feelings.  Say it out loud! Whatever your heart or your mind or your tired body is grieving over, remember that "earth has NO sorrow that Heaven cannot heal."

01 August 2012

Scott and Medication

This is a letter I asked my mother Kim to write in response to a letter I received, in which I was asked for help and suggestions on helping people post-stroke to make improvements.

My husband Scott had a massive hemorrhagic stroke in the left occipital region of his brain, 12 cm X 12 cm, July 2010. He was in a non-medically induced coma for over two weeks, and doctors would not predict whether he would live until after he regained consciousness. In the four years previous to the stroke, Scott had undergone a failed ablation procedure with avoidable hospital error that resulted in thrombosis of the vena cava, a two week hospitalization and a six month recuperation. About two years later he was hospitalized for another ablation that resulted in pericarditis, seven minutes without brain or heart activity, and CPR that created acute respiratory distress syndrome and an 9 week hospital stay with a year of recuperation. At the end of that year, he suffered the stroke. He was left with anomial aphasia, visual deficits, and complete loss of the ability to read. (He can write from dictation but cannot read what he has written.)

Scott came home from the hospital with 10 prescription medications. We spent the first two months at 2 or 3 weekly sessions of rehab in which we mostly tried to assess his cognitive abilities but also worked on teaching him to cross the street. His therapist took him down a short hallway during every session and asked him to locate the bathroom, but time after time Scott was unable to do so. He could not tell the difference between the stove and the sink in the staff kitchen. After rehab benefits ended, we worked for three months on number and letter recognition, with Scott being completely unable to retain any recognition for more than two minutes. He could not tolerate listening to any music or recorded books. Then we started the process of daily living within the bounds of our new and unfamiliar circumstances.

After six months I began to wonder about the medications Scott was taking because we were not instructed to meet with any doctor to review which meds he needed and which he could stop taking. I began to realize that we were not being followed by any doctor, not under any doctorʼs supervision. We attended an independent seminar on traumatic brain injuries and heard a neurologist speak about specific medications that had long term side effects, and I presented him with Scottʼs meds list. He suggested that several might be interacting to create oversedation and recommended we find a doctor to supervise Scottʼs meds. I began to read about the meds and found one heart medicine he was on required a weekly blood test and was for short term use only, but Scott had been taking it for 13 weeks and we had never been advised of the need for lab tests. I phoned cardiology the next morning, and we were seen within the hour and left with an appointment to see the endocrinologist in the following hour. Over the course of the next 18 months we have taken Scott off five meds, three of which were useful during his hospital stay but unnecessary once he went home.

Scott is no longer oversedated. He must take an anti-seizure med twice a day to control the epilepsy that resulted from the stroke. We are told that is a permanent necesessity. He takes several other meds, but we have proven his need to take them by slowly reducing the dosage, under a doctorʼs supervision, till we could discern effectiveness. The result is he is more aware of reality, more involved in his surroundings, more responsive, and more able to do simple things on his own. He has been listening to music before falling asleep for several months. He has been walking our dogs by himself and chatting with neighbors. Today he began to tinker with an Apple iPod Nano on which is one audiobook and he enjoyed it very much. He cannot read letters or numbers, he cannot use a telephone or tell his address or remember his age, but he is starting to have a little more fun, and that is great!

31 July 2012

Sweet dreams!

Don't ask why, with my new, puffy couch less than two feet away, he chooses to lie down on the hard floor for his nap.

But hey, the reading material is good!  Mary Engelbreit's illustrated "Mother Goose" book!



Quite clearly adjusting to my wonderful life with three children has taken . . . a LONG time!  My baby is now almost nine months old, and I have really been feeling like I need to get back on and post things.  Then today I got a wonderful letter from someone who found this blog.

THANK YOU!!!  Thank you for your letter.  Thank you!  I appreciate it so much.  So much more than I can say!

This is the scripture that is brought to my mind, when I learn of others who are struggling.

John 11:33-34

When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled,

And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see.

Jesus wept.

Oh, it is wonderful, that he should care for me, enough to cry with me!

He does!  The Savior does know, and He does care.  I am so comforted by these scriptures in the story of the death and raising of Lazarus.  Even though the Savior knew that Lazarus was about to be made alive again through the power of God, He was troubled, and mourned with those who were mourning.  I love His kind compassionate example of crying with those made sorrowful by the passing of Lazarus.

So my anonymous friend, I mourn with you!!  Today I cry with you.

I understand your feeling of the loss of your father.  I feel that I have lost my father as well.  What is left of him is pretty hard to understand or translate into the dad he was to me all my life before his stroke in 2010.

Did I ever write about the experience I had, when a neighbor came and asked me all sorts of personal questions?  Questions I avoided answering by responding to her with questions??  I don't remember if I did.  But often I feel so sad for her, for her misunderstanding of the value of life and the worth of the soul.  She said to me that day "Don't you just wish now that you had let your dad die?"  My answer: No. I don't think we really had much to do with that decision anyway. Besides that, I'm what you'd call pro-life.  Part two of that answer: I feel like crying.  I really felt like crying as she went on, unsolicited, explaining how we were cruel to opt for the surgery, and how she hopes if she is ever in that situation that her family will make a more loving choice than we did.

I don't know what the point of his life is now.  I don't!  Sometimes I think he had to survive that ordeal for the sake of his family.  But if just for that, if it's just for the people around him, then he actually is doing a lot of good, just by being alive!

Walking around Costco with him, he found multitudes of people to talk to and one lady said to him "So you can't read, so what?  So you can't write, SO WHAT?  God could have made you die before you got to that ER.  Quit thinking about what you can't do, and enjoy what you can do!"

Dieter F. Uchtdorf said "The Lord uses a scale very different from the world's to weigh the worth of a soul." (Here is a link to the wonderful talk he gave on that!)

My anonymous friend, I am sorry your father can't talk.  My dad talks way too much, but I am grateful that he can communicate through words, even if he uses 100 words when one word will do.  I am sorry for the devastation and the sadness this has brought.

I can promise you that the Resurrection is not just some nice story, some myth, some thing that we tell each other on Sunday's and Easter to make ourselves feel better.  It won't be like Shrek, with us just learning to be happy living forever in bodies with problems.  I do testify to all that it is REAL.  The Savior died upon the cross, and that dying did in fact bring new birth when he was Resurrected on the third day.

I would feel . . . desperate.  Hopeless.  Fearful.  Worried.  Anxious.  Depressed without my knowledge of Jesus Christ and His gospel.  If a person doesn't know it, they can learn about it.  If a person doesn't have a testimony, they pray and ask for one.  If a person isn't living it, they can start.  There is so much hope and brightness brought through the Gospel, through the Savior.  He IS the LIGHT OF THE WORLD.  He is the light of the world.  He is the light!!!

I love Jesus Christ, and I am thankful that because of Him my brothers and I will have "our dad" back once more.  My mom will have her husband, his siblings will have their brother.  You will also have your father back, and it will be marvelous!

PS You said you were looking for ways to help him improve.  I know you work to show your father love and patience, and I try to do that too!  But the one significant thing that has really made me go "wow, he's changing for the better in some ways" is this: my mom took him off of all unnecessary medications.  Maybe she could write a piece about that experience that I'll post here.

07 February 2012


Here's an idea, just in case you're in the kitchen, you're tired, your bed is ten feet away and you're just too sleepy to make it ......

A for effort, right?

28 January 2012

NCCU Memories

I have to be honest---I had no idea who Sarah Burke is until two weeks ago.  Then I followed her story with interest, and a lot of sympathy and prayer.  When I'd read about her in the NCCU or hear about the doctors or the tests---I'd just cringe!  I really felt so sorry for her family.  I remember being there and hearing the same things.  I hope they will find a lot of comfort and peace through our Savior Jesus Christ.  I know the story of my Dad ended differently, but a lot of what I read they were going through is what we went through with my Dad, and what hundreds of families are going through every day.  It is amazingly painful!  I like being on this end, living life basically normally from day to day.  I really am so sorry for her family, and sorry her life was cut short by an accident.  So tragic.

I remember a few days after he arrived in the NCCU, a friend from one of my old neighborhoods showed up because her brother in-law had sustained serious brain stem damage in a really minor bike accident.  That good young man died in the NCCU a few days later and I just happened to be there with my Dad when he died.  I watched that family as they walked with their heavy feet out the doors and to a new life without this man they all loved so much.  It is hard. 

So random thoughts here today.  I have just been wanting to write something down about Sarah Burke, and my wishes for health and happiness for her family who must continue living without her.  God bless them all!

One of the not so fun parts

One of the not so fun parts of this TBI mess happened last night.  I went to the U of U RED ROCKS Gymnastics meet which was held about 1/3 of a mile from my parents house.  A straight shot up the street.  Afterward he gets this fantastic idea about walking home in the freezing cold weather alone.  So the answer is no.  No no no, no, no double no, uh-uh, not going to happen, I don't think so, NO!!!  But he tells me again and again he is going to do it.  We went down to the floor to see my little bro and his gymnast GF Lia Delp and say hello.  I turn my back for two seconds and John says "Liz-Dad's attempting the great escape."  So off I run to catch him and he must have wanted it bad because even I was praying he'd slow down on the stairs, I was having a hard time keeping after him.

So here I have this guy who can appear normal by accident and is actually doing so at this point, and all these people looking at me wondering why I am chasing a man who looks completely capable of walking home by himself.  Do I care about their looks?  No I don't.  Actually not at all. 

Poor Dad.  I don't want to know what it's like be him, but I know it has got to be frustrating.  Sorry Dad.  I believe you that you think you can find your way home but it's dark, it's freezing, it's late, you stumble, you fall, you get confused and lost and there is no one available to search the entire campus for you when you don't show up.

Lia after the meet.  She did GREAT!  Charity was star struck and said she needed her "very own picture with Lia"
So I just pray.  Pray for him, for people like him, for care takers.  When my Dad wants to do something I tell him to just do what my Mom says.  I don't really think he ever does, but that's really all there is to say.  If you say "okay you think you can do that, I want to watch you try," you will watch him try and it might get ugly and you might end up searching the U campus in 2 degree weather for a guy who slipped on the ice and is lying on his face.  When I do things with my Dad, I sincerely enjoy it.  While I'm enjoying it I gain all new sympathies for my Mom and for all caretakers! 

I really had to put this picture up, I got the biggest kick out of all these girls waiting for Lia to autograph their posters.  Lia is such a wonderful girl, she is a great role model for these little adoring fans she has!


25 January 2012

Love you Dad!

I miss you Dad!

The other night I couldn't sleep and so I decided to sit and think of things that I have enjoyed!  That was actually a really fun way to lie in bed all night.

So I got thinking of my wedding day and my husband, my children and all of their births, and then I had a lot of fun remembering my Dad.

I remembered this particular time I felt very bad about my mothering.  I had just had my second baby and I had thought I was doing a great job helping my oldest with the adjustment until she innocently told me otherwise.  I got a very nice phone call from my Dad and I don't remember the particulars of what he said anymore, but I do remember that he made me feel much better and turned my feelings from total devastation into those of a "can-do" attitude.

I remembered a time when we were out on the motorcycle that we rode around on all summer, and how we made the loop up through Emigration Canyon and around East Canyon into beautiful little towns that I really fell in love with.  I recall so many times on the back of that bike riding around and singing songs, probably looking like dorks but who cares.

I thought about how many times I lay around miserably sick and throwing up with my first pregnancy, and all the hours he spent on the phone with me.  I loved getting to know more about his day and talking about mine every day, and loved the distraction from my misery.

I also thought about my Mom's voice.  I remember the pain in her voice when she called me to let me know she was behind the ambulance on her way to the hospital where my Dad was either dying or dead in the ER.  "The tender mercies of the Lord are over all the earth" and it so happened that I was just a few miles away on an in-law trip to the zoo, and was able to leave right away and be there with my Mom almost as soon as she arrived.

Then thinking about my Dad lying there.  Which is when I said good-bye to him.  "Good-bye Dad!  I love you.  Thank you for being a marvelous and kind father to me."  But just good-bye to the Dad I have known all my life.  I wonder how long he will live, and I wonder if by the end of his life I will have known him longer as the dad I grew up with or the dad my children will grow up with.

Isn't part of life learning to just accept things as they are?  Admitting there is nothing to do but trust in God?  These circumstances, although I would not have wished for them, have really caused me to really cry out to God, to beg Him for help and to ask Him comfort.  You know what I found?  He was already sending it.  Already before I asked.

The week before the stroke, I was at his house with my two children and he called on his way home from work.  My kids wanted to see him get off the train so we hopped in the stroller and I walked them up there.  We waited....waited....waited....over an hour later he came.  They thought it was the best and I love my memory of him walking off the train, and also watching him wave from the window as the train came to a stop.  I actually was not too happy with the wait, but once he got there it was all worth it and is a great memory for me now.  I consider this to be a tender mercy of the Lord, and I know He provided us with the opportunity for this sweet memory.

I don't like or even love Dr Laura but some things she says  I think are great.  Such as: there is no such thing as closure.  She says what we call closure is actually just saying to yourself "This is how it is and now I have to figure out how to live with it."  I like that thought.  The best "closure" you can give yourself is to say "this is how it is.  Now I need to figure out living with this fact, while maintaining a happy lifestyle."

I miss my Dad.  I do!  Okay I am his daughter and I know he misses himself more and my Mom does too!  But I love that I get to spend lots of time each week with him, I love that he is around to talk to more, I love watching him play different games with my Dad.

When he was lying on the bed in the NCCU I told him I loved him, I told him I appreciated him.  But I believe in life after death.  I know there is a God and a heavenly plan for all of us.  I have so much comfort from the Savior and from the scriptures and living prophets.  So I told him he didn't need to stay here for me.  I told him I was okay with it if he needed to leave, that I wasn't holding him.  But here he is!  The other day he told me he knew he choose to stay here, but he didn't know why.  I told him I knew the same thing!

So if you're reading this and a loved one has a TBI or if you're reading this because you're my friend checking out my blog, thank you!  I pray for all of us to find the peace that passeth understanding from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  One of the many things I have loved from Sylvia Allredwhatever circumstances we are in.

PS I have a crying baby at present and therefore no time to proof read this so forgive any mistakes!

Catch up!

We have had a really good 2012 so far, and in my own opinion.  I  have had a lot of nice visits with my Dad, I am pretty sure he hasn't been mad at me once, and we have had a lot of fun singing show tunes and monster mashing on ice.  I am excited for this Friday when we don our UTES gear and go to a gymnastics meet together. (GO LIA!)

One of my favorite things I have seen my Dad do this year is shave.  Before I would take him out this one day, I told him he had to shave.  He sometimes refuses which, I think he does to look cool in front of my brothers, and so I often hold activities and donuts hostage over the shaving thing.

So this particular day I tell him he has to shave before we go out.  John came in and said "can you hear what Dad is in there singing?"  Yes, as a matter of fact I could hear him singing "The Ballad of Davey Crockett" with bouncy tune.  So John points out the new lyrics, and we all could not stop laughing. 

Born in the mountains of Tennessee,
He killed everyone that he could see!
He chopped down every wooden tree,
And crawled all around, when he was only three!

So he got the rhyming down, and sort of the idea of each line.  It was pretty funny.  The best part came when John added the punch line "And he's in there shaving with toothpaste."

I thought it was pretty funny to go in and see that he was indeed shaving with toothpaste, which was sitting right next to the shaving cream.

Great Art Work!

A while ago we had a very fun art day.  My Mom drew this picture of my Dad.  When he saw it, he said it was "probably the best" drawing of him he'd ever seen.

This was the piece produced by his genius: