09 April 2014

Hello out there,

As I mentioned in my last post, we have had quite the run over these last few years.  Before any of this happened, I would hear of someone's grandma who was going through cancer treatment (or what have you) and I would feel sincerely sorry to hear of it but I had NO IDEA how SORRY I really should feel until my mom was diagnosed and we have gone through it with her!  Like how I never knew how sorry I should feel for people with chronic sinus infections, ahem...my mom..., until I had one myself.  I guess life is kind of like that.  I don't think it's impossible to feel what other people are feeling without experiencing things first hand.  In the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin taught his people to "mourn with those that mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort."  I have come to understand the real significance of the order King Benjamin puts those in: mourn, then comfort.  With all the hoo-ha we have been through, I can say that the folks who took the time to first mourn with me were the ones most effective at comforting me. I guess that's just a thought I want to put out there.

Hopefully life for everyone on the planet WILL mostly be peaches and cream.  But for the times that aren't that way, we need to prepare ourselves spiritually.  My fourth child, "JT" was born extremely critically ill and in the scariest birth situation that I can now imagine.  True, "it can always be worse" but I hope I will never find out what is worse than that.  Fifteen minutes after arriving at the hospital he was born not breathing via a "crash c-section" and I missed it due to having been given general anesthesia because of the emergency situation.  He was full-term, he was TINY, and because the placenta apparently was dying when he was born, he was so so so so so sick. The children's hospital life flighted two people, a doctor and a nurse, to stabilize my precious son.  My husband left to be with our son when the helicopter did, and I was left in the hospital cut open and in physical pain.  As hard as the physical pain was, I can say without hesitation that the emotional pain was much harder, much deeper, much worse.  It was absolutely excruciating to have so many unknowns about my own precious child and to be stuck 40 minutes away from him.

Without making this any more about me (kinda too late) I just want to pause to say this: I would have died of a broken heart if the Savior hadn't carried me through that experience. This has been true of everything I have experienced in life.  The major crises and the every day ones.  If I did not know of the grandiose Gift of the Atonement, if I hadn't had the help of the Savior and His perfect love, and that of the Father, I do believe I would have died of a broken heart.  It is amazing to me how true it is, if we draw near unto Him, He does draw near unto us!!! The Savior was with me, lifting me, helping me through each painful, long, drawn out minute.  Whoever you are, please call upon the Savior to lift you up!  No matter what you are or aren't experiencing, His presence makes everything bearable.  It makes everything feel so much better!  When you invite Him to be with you, you do not feel alone.  The Savior does stand at the door and knock, and if we open the door He will come in!

I love the Savior so much, and am thankful for the kind of love that He has.  The love that is powerful enough to compel him to suffer through all kinds of afflictions and pains, just so that He would know how to help me and that individual love and devotion really helped me and taught me a lot.

If you're reading this, and you haven't already, check out The Book of Mormon.  It changes lives.

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