09 September 2011

Sick James

My son is sick right now.  Yesterday I got to spend alone time with him and I realized there are a few benefits to people being sick and one of them is how things at home (my home at least) get to slow down for a while. I'm not talking about the dishes or laundry because those, in fact, pile up faster when people are sick.  I just love how the little people slow down.  They aren't running around pulling books off shelves, coloring on the carpet, flushing things down the toilet, emptying the fridge . . . I feel like this: aaaaahhhhhhh!

However, they drink their extra fluids, take peptobismal and then we're done.  It's nice to have people slow down for a day or two mostly because I know they are going to speed back up.  That's the way I prefer life.  Normal and crazy and in a home made messy by busy little children.  I believe that must be one of the many hard parts about things like a TBI.  There actually is no hope my Dad and others like him will speed back up.  There is no hope that in this life they will speed back up.  This is a done deal.  This is my Dad for the rest of his life, this is what he's like.  You know what?  I love him!  He might eat cups of butter and sour dough starter, stumble when he walks, say crazy things (i.e. we were in Costco and he turns to an Oriental man, speaking with an accent my Dad couldn't understand, and my Dad says "Hey, have you ever considered learning English?" and he said it out of sincerity to help this guy who "can't communicate" with the people he works around) but I just love him!

I was remembering the Mother's Day before his stroke, he wrote me a really nice card and gave me a gift card.  I was remembering his writing on that and how he wrote "I wish I had some Daiiiirrry Queen!" and the way we used to joke about that line from a movie we both love.  I really missed him!  In a very real way, he died the day he had that stroke.  He's just not the same.

But I am so thankful because while the reality of who he is today is painful, the reality of what he will become is glorious!  Thinking of the Savior Jesus Christ and His unmatched loved for all of us, His willingness to give His life and then to take it back is a glorious truth that gives me a lot of hope for the future.  That is the reason I can choose to laugh when he says about the guy walking by "He doesn't know it, but Stuart and I could take him out" instead of crying every time I'm reminded of how brain injured he really is.

I am so thankful for Jesus Christ.  I know what He did is REAL.  I know the Resurrection is REAL and really will happen to all of us.  I know these things!  I was raised in a Christian home, and LDS home, and I am so thankful to have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my heart.  I just don't know how to survive anything without it.  I am thankful for the scriptures and I know they are true, there are great lessons to be learned there! 

I love the scriptures of the man by the pools of Bethesda who had been there years and years, only to be healed  by the mercy, love, and power of Jesus Christ.  I know I am not perfect, my body is not perfect, but I know I will be made perfect through the gift of the Resurrection.

I am very grateful that my own Dad helped me to learn these things and to know them for myself.  I hope I will do the same for my very precious children, and help them to learn to turn to Jesus Christ in all things, to pray to Heavenly Father, to love and serve others, and to repent and pray for mercy.  I know our Father in Heaven wants all of us to pray to Him and love Him.

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