There is peace for troubled hearts

This is my Dad.  I feel so proud of him!  This man has been through so much! He was hit by a drunk driver about 21ish years ago and has suffered through permanent consuquences.  Two failed ablations, both of which resulted in more permanent health consequences.  He has gone through ARDS which again was brought on not by himself.  Then a massive hemorrhagic stroke. And epilepsy.  And----well that list is bad enough.  But tonight as I was visiting with my Dad, I was really struck by how incredible it is that even after all that, he can still sit and laugh at jokes, he will still go out and talk to people, he still does things!  I am amazed! 

We were talking tonight how believers in Christ will see something happen and hopefully will recognize it as a miracle while those who aren't believers will see a miracle and may only call it a coincedence.  I am so thankful to have a testimony of Jesus Christ and I am grateful for the daily miracles in all our lives!  I am thankful to belong to parents who recognize that He blesses us with those daily miracles.  I am absolutely certain it is impossible for me in my mortal state to recognize completely all He does, but I know and I testify of His involvement in our everyday lives.  I firmly believe there is eternal consuqeunce and relevance in our every-day lives.  I know the choices I make today are important for my future, but I also know that I am not expected to be perfect.  But our perfect Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ provided a perfect plan for each individual with the opportunity to repent. 

I know my Dad's life does matter to Heavenly Father and it certainly matters to me!  Even though my Dad can't do what he used to do I know there is purpose and happiness and joy to be felt in his life.  As I look at my blog and see the google search terms that lead some people to it, I feel a little like crying for some of them!  One person who visited several pages on my blog found it by typing "People who have watched loved ones suffer hemorrhagic stroke".  I don't know who that is, of course, but I pray for you!  I don't understand strokes, I don't understand why we can send rockets to Mars but we can't fix a brain.  I know that our Lord knows all the answers and does have the power to heal, and that we have to figure out how to get through each day, and hopefully with cheer, while we wait.

I want to tell you that you are not alone in your suffering.  Your Father in Heaven hears your prayers and He knows the thoughts and intents of your heart.  He sent His Son, Jesus Christ--the only Begotten!--to Atone for the pains of mortality.  It is hard and it is shattering sometimes, but it is worth it to press on and trust in the Lord.  The comfort available through trust on the Lord is incredible.  His yoke is easy, and His burden is light!  He calls "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest".  I believe that is true.  Please call on the name of Jesus Christ in your trials, in your suffering.  He will heal the wounded soul.  He truly can!

I am thankful I get to keep this blog.  Really even if it is only so that I will sit down once in a while and write out my testimony of the Savior then it is worth it for me.  I do love Jesus Christ, I am thankful to be a Christian and a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I am thankful I was able to gain my testimony by sincerely praying and asking and that is the way for anyone who wants to know to find out for themselves.

Thanks for reading!  A lot of love to you all and good night!

New Testament Thoughts

This morning I was studying the New Testament in preparation for our Sunday School lesson.  The New Testament really is so beautiful, is it not?  To read the actual words of the Savior fills me with grattitude and amazement.  I actually feel like it is something that lifts me to another place!  I have always loved John 5:39; Search the scriptures, for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me. 

Now I know every person has their own way of interpreting scripture so you may think I am way off.  But I have always loved to comapre this to the way I feel so happy and elated when I am really searching and pondering the scriptures.  When I read them, I do think I have eternal life!  When I am really reading, I feel God's love for me, and I feel His love for others through me.  I realize all over again the Gospel of Jesus Christ is true!  I know faith is something I must work at everyday.  I believe that is true for everyone.  I believe every spirit has need of constant nourishment.  I really can testify the scriptures are true!  And that any man who reads and asks in sincerity of heart may know by the Holy Ghost that they are true.  God speaks to us through them and there are so many excellent things to learn!

I love this story in Mark 1:40-42 where the lepor kneels and begs the Savior.  He says "if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean."  One lesson I have learned from this is about the faith this man shows.  He essentially is saying "If it is Thy will, I know Thou canst make me clean."  The Savior says "I will; Be thou clean."  Those words are so touching to me, "I will."  I learn from this that many blessings the Lord is waiting to give us, and they depend upon our asking in faith.  I know we are individuals in the sight of God.  I know "the worth of every soul is great in the eyes of God."  Also I believe we are taught the importance of praying for God's will.  Pray is the act of the will of the Father and the will of the child becoming the same, His will becoming ours.  For His ways are not our ways and just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are His thoughts higher than ours.  Even Jesus Christ prayed "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done."   

As I have thought of these things today I thought about my Dad!  I have been and continue to be affected by the hemorrhagic stroke and the traumatic brain injury he now has.  I recognize there are others (namely my parents) more affected by this than I am.  But still it is painful for me.  I am grateful for the scriptures which teach us, and the Holy Ghost which tells us the truth of all things.  Because of that, I can know that whatever the reasons, this is God's will and I am happy with that!  I also know that my Dad can be healed and will in fact be healed one day and be able to enjoy the full and proper use of his body.

I testify that Jesus is the Christ!  That He atoned for our sins, that His sweat was as "great drops of blood" and He suffered, and that He took upon Himself the sins of the world in order to redeem us and fulfill the will of the Father.  I know that God has spoken and does speak to us on earth.  I am so thankful that I have found my love for trying to live a gospel-centered life.  That is what brings me joy and happiness.  I am not even close to perfect by any measurement, but yet God has allowed me to have such joy for believing on His name and for trying to follow the commandments and repenting when I make mistakes.  I believe and I know Joseph Smith is a prophet who did, in fact, "commune with Jehovah."  I believe that if any man will ask, showing real intent and faith in Jesus Christ that he may know the truth of all things!  My religion is what makes me feel that life is worth all the headache on a bad day, that happiness is possible and worth working for.  I am thankful for my God, I know He loves me, I know He loves my children and family and I know He loves you!  We are all individuals in His sight and He does indeed hear all our prayers.

Thank you for reading and I will close all this in the name of Jesus Christ and an amen!

O Savior, Thou Who Wearest a Crown

Today as I am thinking of my Dad and hoping he is happy and finding joy, I am feeling the love of the Lord for the many blessings and opportunities He provides for us.  As a personal project I decided to learn to play hymns, I think at age 12.  So I got a "teach yourself piano" book and I taught myself.  I annoyed the whole family playing hymns over and over and over again!  But I really got to know and love them.  This hymn, "O Savior, Thou Who Wearest a Crown" was one I really got to love and one my Dad repeatedly asked me to play.  I love the whole song, but today I am mindful especially of these two verses:

No creature is so lowly,
No sinner so depraved,
But feels thy presence holy
And thru thy love is saved.
Tho craven friends betray thee,
They feel thy love’s embrace;
The very foes who slay thee
Have access to thy grace.

Thy sacrifice transcended
The mortal law’s demand;
Thy mercy is extended
To ev’ry time and land.
No more can Satan harm us,
Tho long the fight may be,
Nor fear of death alarm us;
We live, O Lord, thru thee.

I have absolute surety that the Savior has died for us, has atoned for our sins, and is living today.  I also know that because of Him no fear of death need alarm us.  "Oh it is wonderful that He should care for me, enough to die for me! Oh, it is wonderful! Wonderful to me!"

When I really think about what has happened to my Dad, I don't know why it can be so frustrating!  I guess sometimes I just want my Dad!  Is that silly to say?  Probably!  When I get feeling that way I think "well this is my Dad, not my husband" and a whole new set of feelings come to my heart as I consider the burden my Mom has been called to bear.  She really is so faithful and good!  There are lots of wonderful people out there but she just has to be one of the very best.  I really have no reason to complain.  I am thankful my Dad was able to participate so fully in the raising of us kids before the stroke.  My brother Sam says that my Dad has always been so smart, it took a stroke to put him on the intelligence level of the rest of us. 

It is so wonderful to know that Jesus Christ died that man might live again.  When the souls of all man are reunited with their bodies and never to be separated or plagued by illness or deformity, won't that be glorious?  I know that will happen.  For all of us!

Amiodarone and such

I took a picture of this at Booger Bottom in Georgia.  While visiting our family there in October 2008, we took a fun boat ride over to this little joint with missing tiles for the best burger ever!  

I didn't intend to set this up as a complaining post, but in talking to my Mom today I thought of some helpful information to pass along.

First off . . . 

"Amiodarone is a drug used to treat certain types of serious, life-threatening ventricular arrhythmias (a certain type of abnormal heart rhythm when other medications did not help or could not be tolerated)."

Dad was put on this drug back in July of 2010 while the medical people were trying to stabilize his vitals.  Nothing else was working in his heart so they had to use this drug. My parents and I attended the conference for the Brain Injury Association of Utah (BIAU) a few months back and learned something very helpful from Dr. Ellie Elovic: DO NOT use this drug without being closely monitored by a doctor!  My Dad had been sent out of the hospital, prescriptions in hand for all the meds he had been on. Not a word about the danger or the likely side effects of this drug.  We later found out that Amiodarone is a "last resort" medication that is used when everything else has failed to help the patient.  It is a last resort drug because it is dangerous and has serious guaranteed consequences as well as serious possibilities.  It was sort of scary to read about the drug when we figured all this out.

About now I would be thinking, "Now how was this supposed to be helpful?"  

Answer: If you or a loved one ever find yourself in a hospital setting (and I sincerely pray you won't), I would advise the asking of as many questions as you can conjure up.  Truly. We learned this the hard way.

I am not insisting, presupposing, hinting, suggesting, or outright accusing hospitals or the professionals there of negligence. At all. Period. Exclamation point! I am not. I appreciate the hospitals and professionals so much. I now know that they, like me, get busy and things get overlooked.  I wonder if some trouble may have been avoided if only we had known what questions to ask.

At that same BIAU conference, a common theme from TBI survivors and their families was "Where are the people to help me?  Why isn't someone here to answer my questions and tell me what to do?"  My Mom raised her hand in one session where that became the one and only topic of discussion and just said "Look people, we have been through ARDS, stroke, car wreck, failed oblations, etc. etc. etc. and we have learned  that we can either sit around and wait or we can move on and look around for answers ourselves."  

I would describe my Mother dear as very pragmatic. Practical, sensible, honest and real with herself, and not forgetting to mention that she is a person who enjoyed boot camp.  Really.  You can count on her for "real-ness" like that.  I feel like we need to be in charge of asking the questions to get the answers.  It seems sad to me to think of my little Mom reading up on this kind of stuff all by herself while her husband lay in a coma at the hospital.  But it was helpful to her and it was helpful to me to do the same searching for answers.

Of course I don't know who reads this blog.  But I was surprised and humbled to stumble onto a "stats" section and there found that someone in Malaysia is reading my blog.  Someone in Japan.  Someone in Alaska.  People in other places in the United States.  So I want information provided to be helpful.  And I think this is helpful.  Know if you are in a situation like we found ourselves in, that you have to take some form of control over your own education.  Knowledge is power, I believe that.  Keep asking questions.  Network with people in your situation anywhere around the world.  E-mail me!  Leave comments, ask questions.  I have been close to all of this and observed a lot.  If I can help, tell me.  I want to use our experiences to help other people.  Finding out there are others in the same situation as we have been in was what has helped me most.  Finding out that this is not uncommon-but it is still difficult and hard, sad, tragic, life changing.  For more than the survivor too!  

I am Liz Allen and I am a believer!  I believe in Christ!  I know He is the source of our strength.  I know I cannot do big things, but small things by great love.  I have always had love and compassion for those who suffer through these things.  Now I have empathy.  I want to reach out to others and offer support.  I guess this blog is my way of doing that.  


I have never wanted to be an extraordinary at anything but living and knowing the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I want to be a great wife and mother, daughter and sister.  Finding strength and peace through Jesus Christ is helping me to do that.  I have such a long, long way to go, but I know the Atonement of Christ covers that as well as covering the pain and despair of watching as my Dad lay for weeks in a coma, and watching as he and my Mom adjust to life with his brain injury.  It is amazing that everything we can feel has been swallowed up in the victory of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. 

Phillipians 4:13 I can do ALL THINGS through CHRIST, which strengtheneth me.